Things I wish I had done before becoming a mum.

I have been thinking about this since, well, Louis was born in 2007, and for me it really comes down to two things - how I would have spent my time differently, and how I would have spent my money differently.

Indeed, hindsight is blindingly clear - how many times at any stage in life have we said to ourselves "if only I had known then what I know now, I would have done things differently"? I sincerely hope that when it comes to how I have made the big decisions in my life, that I will not go down that particular path of torture. However there are definitely things I wish I had done before becoming a mother, and they my friends, are outlined below:

1. Gone Skydiving

I really don't think I would do this now, or else I will wait until the kids have left home. The reason this features as something I am reluctant to do now (rather than swim in a cage with sharks) is that the margin for error leaves absolutely no hope of survival. 'Chute doesn't open? No recovering from that!

2. Climbed Mt Everest

I so so so want to do this and wish I had focused on this dream a bit more when I was sans kids. For the same reasons I have with regards to Sky-Diving, the margin for error is unforgiving. In addition, this also falls into 'how I would have spent (or saved) my money differently" camp. I still have this as a goal but think that given the prep work involved, the money involved and the time involved away from the children, it will also be more likely to happen when they have left home.

3. Spent my money more wisely

Having said that, there isn't one night out that I didn't regret!

4. Saved my money more wisely

Surely I could have saved for a deposit for a flat and lived in it before marrying and thus having a nice little nest egg! Ah, hindsight, you cursed thing!

5. Spent holidays overseas doing volunteer work

I actually don't know what I was busy doing before I had children! (but I suspect this is a common thought amongst those of us who are caring for dependents be they children or parents). But I would have loved to have spent a month in Vietnam helping build villages, live frugally and learning to cook like a master with coriander and chilli!

6. Had my teeth whitened and fixed

This is partly vanity, partly a genuine dental wish. I haven't seen a dentist for over 10 years, and I KNOW there are holes and chips that need fixing. Some have developed since having children (apparently this can happen in that your teeth can get soft as a result of becoming a mother) but some could have clearly been fixed pre-children. Having them whitened is vain I suppose, but this also falls into the 'wish I had spent my money more wisely' camp, in that all the friends I have who have had it done look fantastic and feel fantastic, and as every mother knows, there is no price you can put on that!

7. Gone to a major sporting even overseas - there is nothing like being in another country during a major sporting event. Personally, I should have hired a chalet in France for a couple of months whilst the Tour de France was on (thanks to my wiley investments) and had a completely awesome european summer sipping France's finest and eating stinky cheese. Bon!

Clearly I have had to put some things on the back-burner, but I am also very very aware that there has been another world I am now a part of that has opened up some pretty amazing experiences for me. Children's birthday parties! The politics of gift-giving! How to avoid being pigeon-holed into being either a yummy mummy or a slummy mummy! (I am neither, I am simply me). And I am sure there are some other experiences to come that I would never have been privvy to in my child-less state (reliving puberty through your children! where to put the shotgun when the first boyfriends start visiting!).

What have been some of the things you would have done before children?

Rainy days and sunshine

As any carer would tell you, rainy days and small children (or insert any other dependent here) are the testiest of bed-fellows.

Firstly there is the realisation that yes, you will all be spending indoors together. A wise old woman once said to me that if you feel your house is small, put in a cow for a week, then take out the cow and hey presto! House feels bigger. However this is one situation where I could cheerfully wring old ladies neck!!! (for starters, where would I get a cow in the middle of Sydney???)

Once the shock and awe has sunk in and that initial burst of adrenelin has worn off, the brain needs (coffee) to kick into gear and try to sort out what on earth we will be doing today.

This is where the electronic nanny aka TV comes in handy. I put it on for half-an-hour whilst I clean up breakfast dishes, have a shower and ponder some more on the situation I am in. Clearly I also spend some time in the shower praying for a miracle and that the sun will come out. No such luck today I am afraid... However a few ideas have presented themselves. They are:

1. Playdough. Start with the most painful. Messy - yes, fun - yes. Scheduled for a pre-lunch appearance.

2. Music and dancing - not messy at all, loads of fun, great way to burn off some of their energy - big tick there! Will do this after lunch and before sleeps.

3. Colouring in - messy - yes, fun - yes. My children also seem to require my attendance (secretly I love colouring in so I don't mind) so this is a nice post-sleep activity to keep everyone settled.

4. Toy rotation. Thank goodness I have toys in boxes that I can take away and re-introduce at will. We are due for a rotation so this will be an excellent way to stretch out their attention in the afternoon. AND if I do the rotation while they are asleep, then it will be an even MORE exciting time for them when they wake up

5. Wet Weather Adventure - hunt down gumboots, raincoats, umbrella's and get some fresh air - albeit slightly wet fresh air. This should only be attempted if one is in good humour and high spirits because you just KNOW that they will return home with wet feet, damp hair and maybe a little sniffle. Neither of them have anything seriously wrong with their health, so def prepared to risk this option so I can a) get a coffee from a SHOP and b) get us out and about to break up the day.

6. Cooking. Cupcakes always a winner, not always well mixed but having the children help cook really does make a huge difference to their understanding of food and meals.

...but hark, what is that I see out the window? The postman delivering my online goodies? No? Ah! it is some blue sky! Looks like we will get some outside time today after all. Now that is a lovely bit of sunshine for us all :)

Great Websites for those wanting to unleash their inner-interior-decorator

Renovating a house has many many trials...but lets face it, it is also an opportunity to look at those gorgeous, glossy house magazines and actually realise that you will also have the opportunity to work on a blank space and stamp your mark on it.

So - far from being overwhelmed by the task at hand, I have decided to embrace my inner-interior-designer (iid) and devote hours upon hours to the crucial task (some would read "waste of time") of ensuring my own little patch looks less like a sterile magazine catalogue, and more like a place where I can be surprised and delighted with the things that I have decided to surround myself with. And I don't think it matters if objects don't "match" in that cutesy-Martha-Stewart-matchy-matchy way. As long as you select things for your home that you love, then that will be the standard continuum that connects them all.

SO:
Websites I have trowled in search of inspiration, whimsy and delight for the house include:

www.etsy.com
This is an outstanding website that defies description, but is like a global network of artisans who craft their goods by hand and then sell on the internet. Beautiful stuff, you could spend DAYS on this site. My pick at the moment is the vinyl decals that will be more than likely adding that bit of whimsy to a frosted glass door and the frosted glass wall in the upstairs bathroom.

http://www.haveyoumetmissjones.com.au/aboutUs.htm
Great aussie design store that has the ex-Australian MD of Diesel sourcing gorgeous objects d'art for the home. Speciality items are the white porcelein figurines, dishes, lamps and vases. Just gorgeous. And well priced too.

www.cocorepublic.com.au
ok, not sure if I will ever actually BUY anything from here - it is not cheap - but it showcases fantastic furniture and accessories from global brands (think Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, Martha Stewart), and is a good starting point to get an idea of what you like. Here is hoping their sales are worth it.

Bedtimes

I have never been a fan of this time of night.
It gets me all wound up and manic and jittery and wishing for the crying, tantrums and unsettled-ness to pass so I can have a nice glass of wine.

No wonder so many mothers are alcoholics.

Amazing websites for Shopping - Toys and Gifts

Here is a list of websites that I have found very useful when searching for that perfect gift. I imagine most people have relatives that live interstate of overseas, and shopping online is a good option as you can do it all at the click of a button. The challenge is being happy with what you buy without feeling the need to actually touch and feel.

These sites are worth signing up to with regards to getting newsletters as they often have excellent sales and it can be a great way to save time and money. Especially if you buy well and truly before christmas - then you save the headaches and hassle associated with Shopping-Mall-World and Customer-Freakout-Frenzy!

http://www.iqtoys.com.au/
Another great website - quick delivery, great range, everyone is covered!I have used them to great success in the past and their gift wrapping is excellent.

http://www.dealsdirect.com.au/
A bit hit and miss but has Fisher Price toys at a good price so worth a look. Also has some random high end products come through occasionally - like Krosno crystal etc.

http://www.petersofkensington.com.au/
Lots of stuff here - mostly all good. Have a really lovely collection of gifts for children. Not so much toy focused however they do stock Lamaze etc.

http://www.thatsmytoy.com.au/
Great website - good quality toys including wooden and non-battery operated so you know you don't have to worry about getting batteries with every gift. Worth a mention are the bilibo's that usually retail for $40 but are on sale here for $30. They are a fantastic toy and a great for imaginative play.

http://www.booktopia.com.au/
http://www.fishpond.com.au/
Two great Australian websites that have oodles of books. Booktopia has fantastic book sales so I tend to buy up large. International sites for books include http://www.amazon.com/ and http://www.bookdepository.com/


http://www.ozsale.com.au/
A mixed bag here. Not necessarily good for gifts but sell items such as diesel shoes for $79, kids clothes from europe for a fraction of the price (absorba, just add sugar etc etc)

http://www.thekidsstore.com.au/a bit $$$ but nice stuff

http://www.danishbydesign.com.au/love love love this store but a bit $$$ too!

http://www.mooo.com.au/
Great custom made shirts and wooden boxes. Reasonably priced too. Great for unique gifts.

http://www.superduperinc.com/Default.aspx
This website, Super Duper Publications, states that it is for kids with special needs, and whilst you have a comprehensive range of items for children on the autism/aspergers spectrum, ADHD etc, the toys here are fabulous for the learning needs of any child.

www.metromum.com.au
great products, great sales, love this website

Amazing Websites for SHOPPING - Children's Clothes

Hahaha, have been meaning to do this for a while, and strongly encourage any followers to respond with any websites they feel offer mothers good value for money, great quality clothes, and that feeling that comes with having well-dressed children at a fraction of the price. Seriously, that feeling is emotional Prozac!!!

www.kawaiikids.com.au

A really nice quirky kids store based in Australia that offers a range of fun and interesting threads from Japan (mostly). Little things like leggings for kids (girls and boys) that have animal faces on the bum, lovely padded jackets, retro tees etc. Their price points are outstanding and are guaranteed to give your gorgeous little one some fashion nous without the pain.

http://www.jkonline.com.au/

Wow, this is a great site for staples. Again, not selling clothes that look mass produced but have the right colour palettes to match with what you have already got. They have amazing sales and offers so it is worth signing up for their newsletter. I bought the children (Actionman 3yo, Human Tornado 1yo) 2 pairs of tracksuit pants, and two hoodies each and it came to around $150 Australian. And the quality is excellent. The hoodies are lined in the hood and come in a variety of fabrics....but check it out yourself and be pleasantly surprised!

http://www.babygassygooma.com/index.html

Ok. Ignoring the fact that the girl models look kinda creepy ala the stepford wives (but for little girls), and clearly have toooooo much make up on....this is a lovely American website with some gorgeous clothes to feast your eyes on. The use of uniquely patterned materials and simple designs plus some amazing accessories would make any girly-girl swoon. The temptation is to not buy everything otherwise it is a bit OTT. However I am tempted to pick up needle and thread myself because surely it can't be that hard to make such beautiful clothes? Oh, and the cost may make you think that too :)

http://www.eoutlet4u.com/

Great site, a bit clunky in layout and design but that is not what you are paying for so who cares! This US site sells designer labels such as Ralph Lauren (girls dresses $US25), Nike etc etc. Range is being updated all the time, reviews on the site by customers are extremely positive, def worth a look if you are serious about getting some designer threads.

Auction sites worth looking at would be www.ebay.com.au and www.oztion.com.au.

I found shoes were good value up until your child reaches 2 years. I think this is because no child under 2 is likely to wear out their shoes or wear them for longer than 6 months (their feet grow so fast) so the condition of the shoe is much better - sometimes almost as new.

Then you have the plethora of kids markets that seem to be popping up everywhere which are definitely worth exploring. Bottom line is that there is no need to pay full price for kids clothes!

Websites that make me laugh

Shit my kids ruined - makes me feel good to know that other people's children are just as lively as mine (if not more so). Your parenting skills have absolutely no impact on the heat-seeking-missile-like focus children have when setting their minds to something.
http://www.shitmykidsruined.tumblr.com/

Huffington Post - good for a laugh, tends to be USA-centric but their picture galleries are great.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/

This one is for you Emma:
http://itmademyday.com/2010/06/03/funny-win-stories-brandon/
Nice funny little bon mots.

...
that is it for now, but will add to the list when suitably funny sites are found.